


Gardenias Are My Favorite Flower

by ReapyReapz



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Prepare yourself for lots of mental and psychological pain, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Tension, Skephalo, Sleepyboisinc - Freeform, Slow Burn, Somewhat Fluffy, Suicidal Thoughts, Techno has a lot of withheld childhood trauma, Trauma, Trigger Warnings please be safe, asexual appreciation, sbi, so does dream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29082459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReapyReapz/pseuds/ReapyReapz
Summary: Technoblade receives a message from Dream that triggers something inside him spiraling into a void of selfish desire and self-hatred as he tries to treat Dream as the friend he is to him. That's all he is supposed to be...a friend, a friend in need of comfort, that's all it is supposed to be, how it is to remain...right?
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 186





	1. A/N

**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind that I do not ship those presented in this story in real life, but instead, their personas as this is a work of fiction. Thank you :)

Hello everyone!

This is the first time I actually decided to post a work onto this site, and I must say that it is quite an experience. I always find myself coming back to the Technoblade / Dream tag, and decided that I needed to add some angst and pain into it as well.

Not only is this an idea that I had created with this ship, this is also a form of vent for myself, so expect lots of angst, psychological and mental sadness.

I'll make sure to label potential triggers at the beginning of each chapter, so please mind them and read at your own risk. Keep safe :) And regardless, I hope you'll enjoy this story.


	2. Crying Pearls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this story started.  
> As a reminder, italics outside of text messages are going to be seen as the voices in Techno's head. :) Just to make the reading a bit easier
> 
> Eventually I hope to make these chapters longer for you guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POSSIBLE TRIGGERS:
> 
> DISSOCIATION  
> SELF-HATRED

It was supposed to be a normal day for Technoblade as he was working as usual with his garden. Currently, his potatoes were growing well as it seems that his green thumb hadn't failed him yet. He gazed over at his other plants to guide his watering can, various flowers of saturated rainbows. His eyes rest on his gardenias as these always attracted his eyes, their white petals decorating the ocean of color surrounding them. However, the sound of what seemed to be his phone going off pulled him from his transfixion.

His fingers lazily went for the phone residing in his pocket to check what possibly bothered his personal time but noticed a DM from Dream himself. What does he want today?

It isn't like he doesn't like the guy, quite the opposite, they got along rather well. Just you know how it is when you become such good friends you just don't know how to be nice to each other. Techno chuckled lightly to himself at the subtle thought but opened up the message.

_Dream:_  
_Hey Techno, um...do you mind if I come_  
_see you tomorrow?_

_Techno:_  
_Sure I guess. Why?_

  
_Dream:_  
_….._  
_George is wanting to talk to me today._

  
_Techno:_  
_Well....isn't that a good thing?_  
_He is your boyfriend._

  
_Dream:_  
_It would be, but...I think he is_  
_contemplating breaking up..._

Techno furrows his brow as he read that reply. Breaking up? Those two? They've been attached at the hip for years. One of the most promising couples he's ever seen. Out of all of their friends, they were definitely the runner-ups for marriage. Did they fight? What happened?

Techno knew that he wasn't going to get answers just thinking his questions as he just responds back.

_Techno:_  
_Breaking up? Did you two get into a fight?_

  
_Dream:_  
_No no!_  
_….._  
_He told me that he just has been thinking a lot_  
_saying that he isn't actually sure of if we are_  
_truly boosting each other and growing._  
_Like he has fallen into a rock in our relationship._  
_Seems he doesn't see it progressing even_  
_more._  
_….._  
_But I'll tell you more later and about what happens._  
_I got to go._

  
_Techno:_  
_I'll be here._

Techno sighed as he closed and turned off his phone putting it back in his pocket. The fact that Dream and George were possibly about to break up was a struggle to set in as it wasn't easy to imagine. From the day that Techno met Dream, apparently, George and him were together. George was a good pair for Dream, calmer and collected when necessary to be his rock, but able to match his energy when they were messing with each other. Him wrapping his head around this new development would have to wait until a verdict comes to fruition.

Some hours passed as Techno was focusing on just editing his recent video before the familiar ding of his phone caught his attention. He saved his progress and removed his headphones to look down at his messages.

_Dream:_  
_It is over. We broke up..._

Techno felt his breath halt for a moment as he read the message. A relationship that lasted for years being broken apart must be weighing so heavily on his heart. Being empathetic was never his strong suit, he seemed to blank on words of comfort each time someone ran to him. This situation was no different, he could only imagine how Dream was feeling right now, and the words to ease the pain ceased to exist in his mind.

_Techno:_  
_I'm so sorry that you two broke it off..._

  
_Dream:_  
_I still asked for us to be friends_  
_and to not end on bad terms. He_  
_definitely seemed just as upset as_  
_me, and I may not agree with his_  
_decision, but I will respect it. As I_  
_love and care for him, I want to_  
_remain in his life, even if it isn't_  
_as his partner..._

Techno ran his hand through his long pink locks as he could feel the sadness through the phone, he knew Dream was probably crying right now. That in itself hurt to imagine, Dream was such a happy-go-lucky individual with a smile bright like the sun, to have that sun crying...was heart-wrenching. He tapped his desk as he tried to think of something to say, anything.

_Techno:_  
_That's a very mature way to go about it._  
_Perhaps this might be a good time for you_  
_to breathe and take a moment. At least, you_  
_still have that support there regardless of_  
_the status between you two._

  
_Dream:_  
_Yeah._

  
_Techno:_  
_Even in this situation, you didn't end on bad_  
_terms. Which in itself is a good thing..._

  
_Dream:_  
_That is true..._

Techno bit his lip as he felt his anxiety rising as he felt so lost in comforting his friend, Dream came to him, which in itself was a shocker as he knew just as much as anyone that Sapnap should've been the first choice. Sapnap must be unavailable right now, it is quite late, and he has school. He must be asleep. Dream already knows that Techno hardly ever sleeps and must've run to him.

_Techno:_  
_If you were here, I wouldn't hesitate to give_  
_you a hug. I know you could probably use_  
_one right about now..._

  
_Dream:_  
_Yeah...I could._

  
_Techno:_  
_My arms are always open for you, and_  
_tomorrow, if you still want it, they are still_  
_open._

  
_Dream:_  
_Thank you._

  
_Techno:_  
_And I mean, when I do get the chance to see_  
_you. I'm sure Floof would gladly attack you_  
_with affection_.

In order to try and give a bit of lightening to the mood, to perhaps keep Dream's mind off of the situation, Techno sent a picture of his dog laying on his back with his paws in the air awaiting pets.

_Dream:_  
_Lol it looks like he gained a bit of weight._

  
_Techno:_  
_Haha, a little bit, he's cute, huh?_

  
_Dream:_  
_His tail wagging is cute, Patches is cute,_  
_but some puppy therapy is always nice._

  
_Techno:_  
_And I'll gladly give you some puppy therapy_  
_when we meet up. That's a promise._

  
_Dream:_  
_Thank you Techno. I'm going to go to my_  
_family's home to try and relax and distract_  
_myself._

  
_Techno:_  
_Okay. And make sure to get some sleep if_  
_possible._

Techno left it on that message and turned off his phone again, he felt his arms and legs pulse with a restrained form of energy that made his skin crawl. He was glad that Dream wasn't alone in this moment of heartbreak, and he was also glad he perhaps gave him a little bit of comfort regardless of his pathetic excuse of empathy.

He took a moment to drink the water that was next to him on his desk and glanced at his unfinished project on his screen. His mind was in no way going to be able to focus on this anymore as he closed the tab and shut down his laptop. Techno flopped his head back on his chair as he stared at his ceiling for a few seconds and lifted his hand to inspect it in feign interest. “A hug, huh? When was the last time I received or given a hug?”

Techno remained where he was pondering for a moment before taking his glass of water and moving to his bed across the room. He should really try to sleep, but his nerves were really getting to him. He fell back onto the soft mattress and sighed deeply as he felt his thoughts racing along. The voices that seem to always whisper to him resonated in his skull louder than usual. He hasn't touched another human in a long time, he was touch-starved, but also repulsed by touch; however, that one thought seemed to have triggered something in his heart.

An emotion that pumped through his veins, vaguely as a shadow of hope, something foreign and frightening. Something that was buried away long ago. He turned to his side and closed his eyes, but his voices morphed their cadence to sound like a familiar tone of his green friend that tickled the hairs on his nape in shivers of interest. Techno's head shook as he rested on his stomach hiding his face in his pillow trying to ignore the sensations the voices were causing before he could feel phantom touches rising up his spine and a whisper of his name on the tip of each ear. Goosebumps and shivers ran down his body as he could feel such sensitive touches knowing that those two parts of his body were overwhelmed in pleasurable sensations.

“Stop it, damnit...” Techno knew what this feeling was, a part of him that he ignored long ago. It was that love he felt for Dream after they interacted and learned about each other. After they shared their deep secrets and pasts, the emotion of love that he buried away for the sake of supporting Dream and his prosperous relationship with George, but with that relationship being removed, his undeniable crush for the green man resurfaced, and with a fury that he couldn't control.

Human emotions like this were terrifying, violent, and persistent. Techno felt his body shake as he took deep breaths to shield his mind and thoughts from the strangling in his heart. This wasn't the time for high school love, Dream was in emotional turmoil, he needed time to gather the shattered pieces of himself and his soul. Such selfish desires were lingering deeply in his core, forcing him to bite his lip to resist digging his teeth into the forbidden fruit.

“Sleep...sleep is the only way to make the voices disappear.” Techno gazed over at the desk to the pill bottle that he would consider to be his best savior. Take a couple of these, and you're mind will shut off, so the voices in his mind would be quiet for a least a few hours. Just a dose of Melatonin to hinder that anxiety keeping his mind switched on...

He sighed grasping the bottle once he sat up and poured a pill into his hand before swallowing it down with a swig of refreshing H2O. Techno still felt the lingering tension inside his chest, but he would just have to deal with these strains another day.

The next day began with a sliver of light crossing directly over Techno's eyes and weights on his eyelids as he tried to open them to the reality around him once more. He groaned as his head lolled on his shoulders like liquid was pooled inside moving at every shift in position. Today was a day he dreaded, facing these emotions head on. No, this was a day that he was to support and comfort his best friend, Dream. He needed to comfort him, he needed to comfort him. Perhaps repeating these phrases over and over would sway the voices and his heart in the appropriate direction. He ran through his usual morning routines and went to look at his phone which he wasn't surprised to see a notification from Dream acknowledging that he was going to be heading over at 2pm. That gave Techno a little time to kill. Should he make Dream something to eat? Maybe a good meal would take his mind off of it for even just a little while. That was the main idea of this whole meetup today, was to be a vent for him, a distraction for a little bit to reduce the more painful parts of the break up. The shock was probably still settling into him as this wasn't something he was used to. You know...the not being with George part...as cruel as that sounds.

Techno went down to his kitchen to try and make something; however, those voices decided this would be the best time to come back to whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

_“Perhaps if you woo him with a good meal, he will be more than willing to fall in your arms.”_

_“You want that, right? To be the one to protect him. To hold him and not let anyone harm him.”_

Techno growled as he didn't want to listen and be manipulated by carefully strung implications to force his hand into doing something that could ruin everything that he built with Dream.

“Yeah, and while I'm at it, let me ruin my friendship with a good friend that I would rather have in my life instead of having an uncomfortable atmosphere with.” Techno scoffed as he decides to make a stir fry for his friend. That's all it was and was ever going to be, a friendship, nothing else.

He kept to a simple recipe that he searched up on the internet, his hands working to mechanically measure the sauce and to saute the vegetables, the but his mind seemed to always drift. He was fading, which morphed into a detailed hallucination of Dream gingerly coiling his arms around his body. Not for comfort, but for love...oh how wonderful the sensation was. Dream's body fit with his own like a glove, the gentle pressure where his limbs and hands were placed on his back made him in return pull Dream in closer. The hug not separating as they slid over to sit on the couch to rest carefully on it. Dream, in Techno's lap, was so warm like the sun after a rainy day, his breathing even as his chest sometimes brushed against his own with the peak of each deep inhale. There was a moment of separation making Techno squirm to retrieve that heat, but the singe on his cheeks from the delicate fingers of Dream made him open his eyes for a brief moment only to be caught up in the emerald seas.

Whatever word was rising from his throat froze as he could see semi red lips inching closer to his own, his eyes closing ready to seal the deal before he shook his head in a momentarily lapse of clarity. His brain snapping back to reality as a slightly burnt smell stung his nose, “Damn it...” Techno turned off the stove and went to stir the pan trying to determine if he perhaps could save the meal, and luckily it wasn't too damaged, but his pride definitely hurt as he didn't want to feed Dream scuffed food. He will just save it for himself later and instead order takeout for them.

One order of takeout made from a pleasant Italian restaurant would have to suffice, he still had a couple hours to spare and there was one down the street from his home. That will have to do.

_“You fucked up.”_

_“Loser.”_

_“Fuck up.”_

_“You expect to win his heart like this?”_

_“Pathetic.”_

Techno clenched his jaw at the teases and bullying from the voices, in retaliation, he put on his headphones, connected them to his phone, and blasted music to mask their persistent oppression and left his home. When he got back, he was feeling drained as he felt like swallowing was more of a chore than usual. Sometimes he had to stop to clutch his chest as tears lingered on the edge of his vision. He knows he is resisting, making these things hurt more, but frankly, from past experience, having to pick up the glass shards of trust and love was a far more demeaning feeling than just swallowing the pill that you were never going to happen anyways. He was afraid of having to go through that again...that's why he needs to ignore it and let hopes like this die.

_“It could happen you know.”_

_“He's vulnerable right now. He is coming to you right now. That is an obvious sign of wanting to be with you.”_

_“Perhaps he will choose you.”_

_“But are you even desirable?”_

_“You broken fuck-up, can you really love?”_

_“Or would you break his heart too?”_

Techno could physically tell his soul was being crushed by each word that the voices were preaching, but his soul radiated with love for his best friend and wanting the best for him that each opposing thought clashed aggressively, fighting for dominance and control. He shaped his hand into a fist to press deep into the counter-top before his thoughts were shattered by the startling sound of the doorbell. On instinct he glanced at the clock realizing that it was a bit past 2pm and took a breath to head to the door, and as expected, he saw Dream through the peephole.

He had to steel himself, he had to hide it, he had to. This was for Dream, this was for Dream. All this is for Dream... Techno braced himself as he reached for the doorknob, noticing the subtle shaking in his body as he turned the frigid metal and opened up for the very one at the center of his thoughts.


	3. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> DISSOCIATION  
> SELF-HATRED

At the door, Dream was presented in the morning light making his outline glow in a gleaming hue, with the lighting, his dirty blond hair shown brighter like liquid gold. Techno tried to swallow his saliva as the voices in his head erupted in elicit excitement.

“ _Beautiful! How could anyone not want him?”_

“ _Precious. Like gold! Like gold!”_

“ _A treasure that we must have, you want this prize. Take it! You'll regret it.”_

Even if Dream's eyes were puffy with eye bags prominent underneath them, the glint of green peeked through long lashes captivating the pinkette. The emerald orbs, just like the blinding gold, was enough to entrance Techno. His mouth lax as he wanted to admire the beauty before him; however, sympathy finally crossed his mind over his obsession as he knew Dream had been crying, and he appeared to only be hanging on by a slim thread. One thing that Techno did notice after he finally stabilized himself was that Dream's usual green hoodie wasn't to be seen, in fact, he was wearing just a plain black jacket.

“Hey Techno...”

“U-Uh...hey Dream. ...Uh! Come in. I got us food, I figured you could use some food. Not that you can't take care of yourself or anything, but free food is good, right? Haha...” Techno felt the tips of his ears burn at that awkward introduction to Dream's visit, he maneuvered towards his kitchen where he had the large brown bag of food. He cleared his throat to speak again, “Come sit.” He cursed as that painfully obvious voice crack only damaged his dignity more.

“ _Real smooth idiot.”_

“ _You are really terrible at any form of communication, how do you live your life when you can't even properly say hello.”_

“ _Failure.”_

“ _Pathetic.”_

Techno's eye twitched as he listened to the voices continue to strike on things he was well aware of, people throughout his life were enough for him to get it through his head. The voices only ever snickered and mused in agreement with hatred for an illness that he struggled in everyday life to control.

“ _Help, help. I can't control my emotions because I am a sad excuse for a human!”_

“ _Help, help. I can't focus on something or someone for more than two seconds because of the voices in my head.”_

“ _Go hurt yourself again. Maybe we will ignore it and make you seem less like a freak.”_

“ _Blood for the blood god.”_

“Techno?”

Techno snapped his head up, his hazy vision clearing to focus his full attention on Dream in front of him.

“Yeah?”  
  


“Thanks for all this. I mean...I didn't think that you were going to do something like this for me. I was actually going to be comfortable with your presence alone, but you really are wanting to sit down and make me feel better.” The voices within Techno silenced, the brief moment of relief was addictive as Techno's lips curled up to smile at his friend, which he returned the favor with a bright toothy grin. Although, Techno peered afterward into Dream's eyes, those gateways to his soul. He traversed into a soul of a broken man, internal wars were being fought behind the forest colored glass.

A tinge in his heart made his own maroon eyes sink a bit in sorrow as he could almost see the pleading. He was trying to overcome this challenge, and he knew Dream wasn't wanting to lose. The only question is why he seemed so afraid, he was always so strong, but it was like his facade was cracking at the seams.

“It is nothing Dream. Here, eat.” Techno set a plate and presented the food for Dream to take as he pleased.

They sat in comfortable silence for a solid few minutes, just chewing on their food and once they finished, their location shifted to the couch in front of the TV. They were on opposite sides more so because Techno didn't trust himself to act appropriately. Even as they sat watching a random comedy movie his eyes panned over to Dream beside him, lingering on the blonde for a second too short each time as Techno frantically tried to hide his staring over and over. However, it took another movie switch for him to realize that Dream was peacefully asleep.

Techno couldn't hide his soft smile as he gazed over Dream. Him residing in a dreamland like this was a relief, when he came in earlier, the dark circles under his eyes were all the information he needed to know that a sleepless night was all Dream got last night.

Dream shifted lightly and sighed out a breath that attracted Techno's eyes to those lips again. The light of the afternoon only trickling through the curtains creating the brown tinge to those once golden locks. He couldn't help but lean in slightly closer and brush a strand out of Dream's face to notice the freckled cheeks were dusted with red. He was like a piece of art, why is it that he only sees this now? Only now just sees that this man had a toned body and broad shoulders. These were always hidden behind that green hoodie.

His signature green hoodie was one of Dream's favorite items that he possessed; however, he wasn't wearing it now. Techno would have been shocked, but he knew that the hoodie was a gift from George on their first anniversary. It held so many stories within the woven fabric that he bet Dream didn't want to reminiscence on right now.

Techno only proceeded closer and closer feeling Dream radiating soft heat that lured him in like a moth to a flame. Techno flinched as he just realized how close he really was when the caress of warm breath ghosted over his own lips from Dream's parted ones. He startled back and planted a hand across his mouth. “The hell are you doing Technoblade??” He hissed quietly as he stumbled to retrieve a blanket from a closet in the hallway in order to wrap it cozily around Dream's sleeping form.

“ _You coward. Should've went for it.”_

“ _No wonder everyone you ever loved abandoned you. You never took the initiative.”_

“ _Do you actually love him? Sure don't act like it.”_

Techno groaned at the slander as he desperately attempted to ignore it. There is a difference between acting on love and feeling love, and so far, he wasn't going to perform any loving actions outside of friendship. That is what he vowed to do, and he never broke his promises.

“ _Liar.”_

He froze at that statement as his vision blurred suddenly to where the only thing his retinas could make out were nothing but blobs of color. These smudges eventually shimmered into the form of another blonde male kneeling next to a younger version of himself. No...not this, please...He tried to move his arms, but his muscles were frozen in place, his eyes unblinking as he was forced to watch this re-enactment of a memory he'd rather not recall in front of him.

“Techno, please. You can't keep listening to the voices in your head. That is all they are...voices. They can't hurt you if you don't let them.”

“But...they are so loud...They are so loud! You can't leave me alone with them!”

“You need to be strong Tech, there is no way that you'll be able to grow up well if you can't handle them.”

The facial expression that was supposed to be on the man's face was faded leaving none behind in this recollection. What was his expression? Techno can't remember, he can't recall any of the emotions running across his face in this scenario.

“I...don't know what to do...”

“You need to promise me that you will try to ignore them for me. Okay? Don't let them control you.” The man extended his hand to rest on the younger's head to ruffle the pink locks.

“I...I promise...I promise!”

The blonde sighed gently and retracted his hand only to replace that with a hug, “Thank you.”

  
He observed as his younger self seems to melt into the arms of this man before his body tensed up at the harsh sounds of a truck horn going off. Screams rang in the void as an audible crash was heard, and red...red was all he could see. It was like it was leaking right over his irises as he was frantically trying to swallow in air. His lungs felt like they were shrinking and compressing inside of him. His instincts of survival were on overload, but he couldn't break free from his statue-like state. That was until his body visibly jerked from the sensation of a hand on his own.

Techno's reality crashed back to him causing him to blink and shake from that state, searching for that inkling of connection to the real world which was actually the hand of Dream on his own. His eyes widen a bit when he noticed how warm that hand was in his ice-cold one.

“D-Dream? I'm sorry, did...did I wake you?”

Dream honestly didn't seem that awake as he was still rubbing his eyes of exhaustion, but with a large yawn, he erected himself to properly look at Techno. “You didn't wake me, I just noticed you were standing right there but weren't really responding so I grabbed your hand....figured you didn't hear me. Mmmm... What time is it?”

Techno unraveled in that moment out of relief, both for Dream rescuing him out of that memory, but also that Dream didn't seem to know what was truly occurring, either that or he just chose not to ask. He was fine, he was in the present, the present with Dream, letting his ghosts haunt him wasn't what Phil would want for him. He made a promise...yeah...he needed to be strong. Especially for Dream.

“Uh. It is around six. Got through a few movies before you fell asleep. Was going to let you rest.” Techno chuckled lightly.

“Six?? I didn't intend to impede on you, I should be getting back home before the sun sets.”

“That's only if you really want to. Ya know, I don't mind you staying the night.” Techno planted himself next to Dream to lazily gaze over at him. In reality, he wanted the blonde to stay, he silently could feel his mind pleading for his anchor to remain by his side.

“Ah, I would love to, but I promised my family I would be back before 8 tonight. They are almost too worried to let me roam by myself, afraid that I may do something stupid.” Dream carefully lifted the blanket to fold it and rest it on the back of the couch.

“Something stupid? Well...I don't really blame them for being worried about you. I am too. Very worried.” Techno watched Dream push himself to his feet again as he was stuck in his position, his limbs like gelatin even when he wasn't applying pressure to them. If he got up right now, he was positive he would collapse in front of Dream. He didn't want his green friend to leave, didn't want him to abandon him, but just like before he was trapped in his current situation.

“ _He is abandoning you. You gonna let that slide?”_

“ _If you're so scared, stop him from leaving.”_

“ _You're so clingy.”_

“You didn't give me that hug yet.”

“W-What?” Techno snapped his eyes up to those captivating jewels above him before noticing the amused huff coming from the blonde's lips as his own lean but toned arms extended out.

“I believe you promised something to me.”

The cogs in his head were stuttering as he was deciphering the hints that Dream was giving before it finally clicked and a bubble of laughter rose from deep in his chest. That weakness in his body evaporating as he didn't hesitate to get back to his feet and stretching out his own arms which Dream didn't wait to leap right into. The affection of the hug made Techno's heart flutter and buzz in excitement as he was long overdue for something like this. Even if this hug was just one between friends, it still radiated the warmth that he can remember from his vivid imagination before.

The soft feeling of Dream's hair brushing against his cheek as he had buried his head within his shoulder. The sensation of his burning fingertips clutching onto the back of his shirt while his own occasionally ran along the muscles of Dream's back. Those years of football had definitely done wonders on him, the curvature and sculpted firmness was enough to paint Techno's ears rosy red again. At that moment, his awareness of how close they were slapped him in the face as there was a gentle heat from Dream's breath on his neck due to his close proximity. The subtle adjustment of Dream's arms as he squeezed and stepped that tiny bit closer to Techno. He was beginning to worry that Dream would be able to actually feel the pounding of the heart in his chest with how tightly they were intertwined.

Of course, he couldn't truly feel it, but that sound of blood rushing through his ears was deafening to Techno. It took a few seconds longer before Dream was pulling away, somewhat startling the frozen pinkette as he almost too hastily let go since Dream did. This hugging and affection stuff was difficult, how was he supposed to end a hug? That was alright, wasn't it? Did it feel good for Dream too?

“Thank you Techno.” Techno saw one of those hands that were clutching into his shirt seconds ago gently wipe away faint wetness from Dream's eyes. However, that smile on Dream's face was a genuine one. “That made me feel a bit better. I'll see you again though. I may come to stop by tomorrow if you aren't busy.”

Techno nearly missed what Dream said since he was still reeling from that hug, but played it off like he was thinking about his plans for tomorrow. Little did Dream know that Techno had no plans and was formulating something in order to get Dream to return to him in some form or fashion. “Weeell, I had planned on streaming tomorrow. How about you join me for that? You could just bring your laptop, right? I have another lonely desk awaiting company.”

Dream busted out into a fit of giggles which Techno swears was one of the most perfect scenes he's ever witnessed. That smile shone so brightly that Techno nearly had to turn away from the beaming rays, but he was hooked to it like Icarus to the sun and he wasn't afraid of his wings melting and embraced the heat without remorse. His own smile coming out as Dream's infectious personality was seeping out again.

“Sure, I can bring over my laptop and we can play together. In fact, I look forward to it.”

  
  
“Yes! My audience retention is saved!”

Dream let out one of his signature wheezes before they migrated to the front door where Techno said his farewells and waved Dream off. He waited till he was out of sight before closing and locking his door for the night. The giddy feeling was rushing through Techno's whole body as he couldn't resist the temptation to tell someone. Who could he tell?

Techno rifled through the blankets and pillows of his bed hunting for that one piece of technology that he always seems to lose when he needs it the most before there was a small thump of his phone falling on the ground after he lifted his covers to shake it out. Hastily he grasped it in his hand and hunted through his contacts for someone he felt comfortable to expose this side of himself to, who could he tell? Who...? Techno opened the chat on Discord as this person was still online, who better than his very own brother.

The ring proceeded for a couple seconds as he was impatiently tapping on the side of his phone before the answer tone resounded. “Hello?” That familiar British accent couldn't be mistaken which set Techno into such a sudden burst of energy so extremely unlike him.

“Wilbuuuuuur!”

“Hey Techno. Wow, I haven't heard so much excitement in your voice. What did you come to tell me that you wrecked some kids in Minecraft again?” Wilbur chuckles on the other side of the line.

“Heh, well, uh...not exactly, I actually called because I needed to tell someone about this.” There was a moment as Techno couldn't help but get a bit anxious as he knew he never really spoke upon these sensations to anyone. Hardly to even Wilbur honestly, but Wilbur would find out in someway just from the subtle changes in Techno's voice whenever he conversed with Dream, so in a way, getting this out of the way was better than the embarrassment of later when he gets teased for it.

“Okaaay?”

“I may have an interest in something. Or well, someone...”

“Interest?” There was a slight peak of intrigue in Wilbur's speech as this wasn't something Techno openly admitted often.

“When I say interest, I may mean...a crush.”

“WHAT?” Wilbur's laugh of disbelief flowed through the phone even breaking up the connection a bit before settling into his next question. “The great Technoblade has a crush? On who?”

“Ah well...I...” Techno couldn't help but to take a second of realization, the moment he actually admits to this...it will be manifested in the world. He said that he was going to have to keep Dream at arms length in his time of need. That's what he said, but his ecstatic rush of adrenaline after a momentary interaction of affection got the best of him and he just said that he had a crush on his best friend. He tensed up a bit as it hit him pretty hard before he heard Wilbur's voice coming through again.

“Well? Who could possibly catch the eyes of the Blood God?”

“Haha...well...uh...It...it may be um...” Techno pulled on the collar of his shirt as it suddenly was suffocating around his neck even though it was hardly touching it.

“Yeah?”

“It may be Dream.”

There was a solid interval of silence which Techno was praying to end quicker as the anxiety in the void was threatening to raise his those levels even further.

“Dream? You mean...THE Dream?”

“Y-Yeah...that's the one. The green one. Ya know...” Techno released an awkward chuckle at the end as condensation was beginning to bead up on his brow as his eyes couldn't linger on just one section of his room, but instead on every little detail that he found to be exponentially more impressive than what he was trying to piece together into a conversation at this current moment.

“Wasn't Dream dating George? Oooh, is this one of those fleeting emotions or something? Then again, I can't imagine the great Technoblade to actually feel that kind of love.” Wilbur, Techno knew, wasn't intentionally trying to invalidate his emotions, after all it isn't like he even knew what these feelings were himself. However, he could sense in his heart that those words stung and the poison was creeping through his veins as tears lingered on his waterline.

“Y-Yeah! Yeah! That's all it is Wilbur. Just, ya know, wanted to share this crazy burst of feeling. Doesn't happen often. Haha.” Techno frantically used his sleeve to get rid of the salty liquid threatening to pour out of his eyes. This was as good a time as any to actually ensure that he wasn't going to take the initiative upon this lovey dovey fantasy in his head. There was no way it would work out, no way. Dream could never feel the same, it was a good thing he told Wilbur. He required that realization, it was for the best.

“Are you okay Techno? You're voice sounds shaky.”

“It's fiiiiine, it's fiiiiine. It's been a pretty tiring day, I'm gonna go take a nap. I better not be woken up with a text to hop on for something stupid. Bye.”

Wilbur replied with his own farewell, in which Techno hung up the call in haste, he flopped back onto his bed. The soft mattress slowly altering into somewhat a prison, the moment his head connected with the pillows, he was trapped with the voices and the holograms they deemed of upmost importance to display. This was no different.

Techno blankly stared into his room as minutes possibly hours passed by, he witnessed the light of day slipping away from existence only to be replaced with streetlamps flicking on letting in a dull orange hue. Enough light to provide vague understanding of the positioning of items in his room as only their outlined silhouettes seemed to meld together in piles of black.

He closed his eyes to turn to his side facing the wall, a pillow resting there against it instead of at the headboard. “Perhaps these emotions are fleeting. Maybe I should just ignore them and give up.”

“ _That's always your escape, ignore it and give up. Drown yourself in other meaningless activities. You did the same with Phil.”_

“ _The same thing with Phil, you tried to ignore him.”_

“ _Do you still blame yourself? You should.”_

“ _You're cursed to forever remember because you're weak.”_

Techno listened to the voices, but he wasn't going to let them win right now. A ghostly figure was beginning to illuminate the room in place of that pillow like a cloak over the plush fabric. A ghostly vision of Dream resting on his bed right next to him. His features were blurry, but honestly Techno didn't care. In his mind, he was scolding himself for this strange act, it felt mildly like an invasion of privacy. It didn't rest well on his conscience, but that wasn't a concern right now. The wash of calm over his body as he cuddled the pillow tighter and rested his face in the soft curls of Dream's hair was enough for the voices to dim in volume. It was peaceful, he felt safe, he felt in control for once. That was all that mattered. The subtle sensation of limbs encasing him erected a barrier within his mind that he was completely comfortable to reside in right now. He could finally rest, in this dark room, in this silent place, created because of Dream. It was all he could need. All he needs to sleep this night away.


	4. Man's Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one. It took a bit longer to write due to personal things happening IRL, but I managed to get it done. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POSSIBLE TRIGGERS:
> 
> DISSOCIATION  
> SELF-HATRED  
> POSSESSIVENESS  
> SLIGHT MANIPULATION

The sun rose the next day, the inklings of last night faded from Techno's mind as he was awoken to the pinging of his phone. He could've sworn he muted it, but it was likely that it went right over his head after hanging up on Wilbur last night.

He fumbled to find the confounded object as it seemed to be getting louder and louder. It was infuriating to say the least in Techno's exhausted state, he just wanted to silence his phone and shut his eyes to drift into the blissful paradise he traversed before falling asleep. As he unlocked his phone, set on muting the notifications, he finally took a moment to see who they were from. Dream.

_Dream:_

_Hey Techno, I should be able to head over in a few_

_hours._

_I am bringing my laptop and looking forward to_

_playing. :)_

_I'll be heading out in 30 minutes, I realized I need_

_to feed Patches before I leave since I know it will_

_be awhile till I get back home._

Techno read and re-read the messages before his eyes snapped to the time displayed on the top of his phone, he slept well into the afternoon! He scrambled out of bed still delirious from just having woken up as all the blood finally began circulating his body.

  
“Damn it! I didn't mean to sleep this long. I need to clean up that desk before Dream gets here. I need to set up for my stream.” Techno was rushing to go to his bathroom and tripped over some loose clothing he had skewed about his floor. “I should've cleaned before I went to sleep. I'm such an idiot!”

“ _At least we agree with something.”_

“ _Always a procrastinator, huh?”_

“ _A miracle really that you even have the motivation to stream with such a lazy attitude.”_

Techno hardly paid attention to the voices spewing whatever bull in his mind as he was too focused on making his room presentable for Dream's arrival by tossing clothes in the hamper, throwing stray trash away, and even making his bed. He doesn't remember the last time he even had the energy to organize himself as much as he did now. However, he needed to get through his daily rituals quickly, it took a while for Dream to drive to his house, so luckily he had time available.

It was a bit messy of a start to his day, but he got by with washing himself up, removing all the unnecessary items from the desk that he told Dream he could use, and he even opened up his curtains to let in the warm evening sun. Honestly, it was one of the most alluring moments for Techno, the usual dreary darkness of his typically cluttered room was removed and replaced with something that he could only associate with a sense of fulfillment. Dream caused this fullfillment, the blonde really was his namesake, a dream come true. Techno scoured his eyes over his room bathing in the emotion before he frowned a bit.

“But...that dream isn't mine to have.”

“ _Always the friend, never the lover.”_

“ _The best outcome for you. You don't deserve the pleasurable release of being something more than someone disposable.”_

“ _You already know you're replaceable.”_

He saddened at the thought that perhaps that sunshine in his life may be snatched from him one day. That's why he couldn't ruin this with his selfish yearning, or else, that light may be extinguished and that void would be his reality once more.

The sound of his doorbell made him perk up as he glanced curiously at his clock to realize it almost has been an hour and a half since he woke up. Must be Dream, and as if on cue, the ding of his phone caught his attention revealing another DM from the blonde.

_Dream:_

_Here._

Techno felt the corners of his lips curl up in giddy excitement which he took a deep breath to calm the butterflies down as he traversed to the door to open up to the man that's been seeping into his thoughts.

“Hey Techno!” Dream's grin had Techno fondly lowering his eyelids as he wished to be the cause of such a thing for eternity.

“Come on in Dream, I see you got your laptop.” He trailed his eyes down to the laptop bag Dream was holding in his hand. “Let me show you where you can set it up.” Techno turned to allow Dream access to his home which the blonde easily took the offer closing the door behind him.

The duo climbed the stairs back up to Techno's room where there was a separate desk situated a little bit further from his own. “You can use this, I'll need to get an extension cord so you can plug your laptop in, but I'll let you get comfortable.”

“Won't be too bad, not like I have to set up a microphone or anything.” Dream laughed as he set his bag on the desk to begin unpacking.

Techno meanwhile moved to a box in his closet filled with various wires and cords; however, his eyes drifted over to Dream while he was getting prepared for their gaming session. Damn...the sight before him was like he was staring at an angel. The soft light coming from his window made Dream appear soft as there was a hue of white highlighting the already golden attributes of the blonde. This was also the perfect luminosity for Techno to finally take notice of the fact Dream was just wearing a normal t-shirt, he took off his jacket when he arrived and set it on the chair he would be resting in, and by god's...the freckles that lightly accentuated his face crept down the blonde's shoulders. Techno wished he could gently glide his fingers over each one, to memorize each combination of patterns he could see, to kiss each one to make Dream feel worshiped as he should.

“Hey Techno. I'll need your wi-fi password.”

Techno blinked out of his fantasizing, grabbing onto an extension cord and moved back to Dream's side after plugging it in at the closest outlet. “Uuuh, yeah, yeah. Here.” Techno took a piece of paper he had just in case of situations like this which held his router and password info and handed it to Dream.

There was a brief moment where Techno's face heated up as he admired the lithe, yet muscular fingers of Dream's. Come on Technoblade, he was just grabbing a piece of paper from you. That's all it was.

“ _Is this what a god really looks like?”_

“ _You call yourself a god, but you really are a peasant aren't you?”_

“ _You're nothing compared to him.”_

“ _You're not worthy to even be with him.”_

In all honesty, Techno couldn't disagree with those statements, Dream was too perfect. When he was next to him, Techno was like a withered corpse. His eye bags were enough to depict how sleep-deprived the pinkette was, his skin was bordering on white in terms of paleness due to burning in the sun more often than tanning, and lately, he doesn't think he's even eaten a proper meal making his features seem slightly sunken and sick in appearance. . Dream deserved better than him...he couldn't even compare. He took the cord connected to his friend's laptop to plug him in while the blonde was loading up Minecraft and opening up Discord.

“I should get ready. I almost forgot.” Techno turned on his computer, adjusting his setup appropriately, and logged into his laptop.

Good thing, he didn't really have issues with getting his stream set up as he entered Minecraft himself. Today, he figured that he and Dream could hang out on Hypixel to play a bunch of mini-games. It was a rare occurrence for Dream to join him like this, so it was as good of an idea as he could make. The SMP was enjoyable, but at the moment, there wasn't anything in particular that he figured they would be able to do together. Running to another woodland mansion wasn't exactly on his to-do list, as he was set on Totems of Undying that getting anymore would be overkill now.

“Hello?” Techno was loading up his stream on his laptop to read the chat, “Welcome to the streeeam.”

After a small session of speaking to chat, and thanking the immediate donators, Dream joined in his VC in Discord.

“Hi!” Techno was a bit startled by Dream's voice being through his headphones as well as in real life. The sensation was very foreign, but it brought a smile to his face as it let the reality that Dream was here, with him, settle in his mind.

One glance at his chat made Techno laugh lightly as there was a slew of “DREAM!” comments spammed. “Yes, Dream is here. We actually are gonna be streaming today on Hypixel and playing some mini-games. Maybe recreate that Technoblade vs Dream duel. You up for it Dream? Ready to get destroyed?”

“Hah! You're on. I'm not scared. Technoblade vs Dream part 2 right now.” Dream cackled.

Before they did that though, Techno and Dream both decided to begin the stream off with some casual conversation, Q&A, and friendly competition in some Party Games. They went through a few donations asking various collections of questions before there was a particular one that showed up.

_“Hey, Technoblade! I love the streams, but I have to ask. Why does it almost sound like Dream is with you?”_

“Maybe because he is with me.” Techno smiled as his chat went crazy again, he had to restrain himself from freaking out with them as he couldn't believe that Dream was here too. It was really a lot to take in.

“Yeah, hear this. Techno!” Dream had swiveled his head to shout directly in his direction which could easily be picked up by Techno's mic.

“Hey, unlike you, my room isn't soundproofed Dream.” Techno sighed as he knew that was quite enough proof for the chat to truly believe in Dream's visitation at his humble abode. Well, enough for those who aren't skeptical about nearly everything.

There was a moment of comfortable silence as Techno was taking a moment to make some in-stream adjustments. Specifically to mute as much of Dream's voice in the background as he could so it wouldn't be echoing. The familiar sound of someone joining the VC confused Techno as it wasn't often someone just appeared out of nowhere, that is what he thought, until that voice rang out loud, annoying, and obnoxious, no matter how pleasant it was to hear.

“Heeeeey! Big Man! Big D!”

“Hello Tommy!” Dream responded almost with just as much enthusiasm.

“Halloo.”

“What you two doing? Drugs?” Tommy obviously knew what they were doing, Techno saw him talking in the chat a couple of times as it was common for his little brother to hang out in his streams when he wasn't busy.

“Hah no, we aren't doing drugs, Tommy.” Dream snickering was easily heard by Techno which made him laugh under his breath.

“No Tommy, what is your obsession with drugs?”

“I could talk about my latest poo if you want.”  
  


“If you do Tommy, I will not hesitate to deafen you.”

“Well, that's fine because Dream's there with you meaning that you will still have to hear me!”

“I'll walk over there and deafen you on his laptop regardless of his efforts to stop me.”

“That's not very fair now is it.”

“Boys, boys, calm down. Off the topic of poo, you gonna join us for a few games, Tommy?” Techno's eyes flitted over to Dream as he was attracted to the movement of him leaning back in his chair nonchalantly. They weren't doing anything at the moment as Tommy was logging into his game and onto Hypixel to join them. Techno will let Dream handle inviting him as he had left to get some water as he was parched. Honestly, he doesn't recall hydrating at all today and frankly, he was parched.

“ _Probably from thirsting over a certain blonde that is in your room right now.”_

“ _You could take a chance on him, but you're too chicken.”_

“ _You could take advantage of his emotional state. He will fall right into your arms.”_

Techno slammed his cup onto the counter, thank god it was a plastic cup, or else he would have had an even bigger mess to clean up. These voices were getting on his nerves, he just desired to get his water and get back upstairs where he could hear the beautiful melody of Dream's laugh reverberating out the room. He didn't want to try anything, make any moves, they were just having fun. That's it! Techno rubbed his face exasperated from the voices' pestering, but after collecting himself, he returned back to the bedroom, cracking the door in case Floof wanted to come to hang out instead of downstairs on his bed. There was some kind of conversation going on that was making Dream be rather boisterous in both movement and vocals.

Dealing with two loud blondes was much better than tolerating the voices a second longer, so as far as he was concerned, this was the preferred option. Techno went back to his desk and was greeted once more by Tommy who went spouting on about some nonsense that Techno really only heard about a quarter of before he completely blanked. He only was brought back when Dream's voice cut through Tommy's banter and he soaked up every word like a sponge.

After a few hours, Techno finally decided to wrap up his stream by reading a few last-minute donations and saying farewell to his chat. He released a breath once he closed his OBS software and tabbed back to the game, at some point, the trio had logged onto the SMP to do random things. Even if Tommy was annoying, he was damn good at making things entertaining from nothing.

Currently, Dream was messing with Tommy and just accompanying him in his random tower making before the child fell from a high place after missing the water below. Techno chuckled as he witnessed it even if he wasn't necessarily playing at the moment as he was stretching just listening in on them.

“Here Tommy, take this. It will be much easier for you to get back up.” Dream tossed down a trident which Tommy had picked up but threw back almost immediately after.

“No, no, no, Dream. I told you before that this is obviously not for me. Gogy would use the Dreamrider without a problem.”

Techno could physically feel the air go from a peaceful mellow to a deep nearly suffocating one in an instant with that phrase. His eyes widened as he watched Dream who was frozen in place next to him, there was a subtle shake in his shoulders as Techno could only see the slight quivering of his lips before Dream bit into them resisting some repressed emotions. Techno bubbled with irritation that Tommy just HAD to bring up George in this time.

“W-What's going on? Why did the atmosphere get so dim?” Tommy nervously laughed on the other end as he was very confused with the mood change.

“Tommy...” Techno growled out as he shut his eyes breathing in and out. “Why did you say that Tommy?”

“What? Say what?”

“Why did you mention George, Tommy??” Techno noticed from the corner of his eyes the flinch of Dream as he snapped at Tommy. Internally, Techno knew that lashing out at his younger brother wasn't the correct move to pull right now, but with his recent predicament of wearing his heart on his sleeve, his control over such anger from wanting to protect Dream boiled over easily.

“What?? What's wrong with mentioning George? Why are you yelling at me??” Tommy's tone had shifted even further as his own aggravation towards being the brunt of something he didn't understand was bringing him to defend himself.

“So much is wrong with that Tommy! You idi--”

“Techno!” Dream's shout had caught Techno off-guard as he immediately ceased in his attack and looked at his blonde friend. He was gently smiling at him which soothed the beast inside Techno as his rationality returned. He lowered his head and brushed his hair out of his face as he let that aggressiveness fade away.

“He doesn't know about what happened. There's no need to get angry at him. It's okay. I'm fine.” However reassuring those words were meant to be, it was all nullified to Techno as his eyes could detect the traces of lingering tears in those green jewels. It took a lot of willpower for Techno to not mention how Dream lied that he was fine, as he knew it wasn't his place to pry into something Dream didn't wish to speak upon.

“Can someone explain why **I'm** the one being yelled at?” Tommy's voice held its own edge which made Techno feel even worse as he was aware that Tommy was just puzzled on the situation and it was common sense that Dream hadn't spoken of this to everyone in his circle of friends.

“I'm sorry Tommy. I should've told you guys sooner, but I don't want this occurrence to ostracize George from everyone so I had kept it on the low...” As he watched Dream, Techno observed every little movement of Dream trying to piece his words together whilst he worked on keeping the pieces he retrieved of himself from collapsing again.

“Okay...what? What is it?” Tommy seemed to have detected that something was indeed eating at Dream as his voice was the concerned one that he held for his troubled friends.

“We broke up recently, Tommy. I'm still...” He gulped some air as his voice was cracking, “I'm still trying to recover from it all. It was very sudden, and I kind of...feel like I had no say in the matter. One second he was there, the next...the line was silent.”

“I'm so sorry Dream!” There was a hint of panic in the brit's voice as he was fervently wanting to take back what he said, “Oh my god, I feel like such a prick!”

“No no! Don't feel that way Tommy, you didn't know and I understand that.” Dream choked out a laugh to comfort the younger one. “I think that I'm gonna hop off and pack up my laptop though. It is getting late.”

Techno felt his heart sink with that comment.

“ _Don't leave.”_

“ _Your prize is leaving!”_

“ _He'll leave and never come back.”_

“ _Like everyone else.”_

“ _Locking himself away and pushing away everything. Especially someone like you.”_

Techno pushed himself to his feet disconnecting from the call, he is sure his brother can handle him suddenly leaving, as Dream said bye to Tommy before hanging up himself and shutting his laptop. His quick movements rattled Techno with anxiety as it was like Dream was too hasty to leave.

“Are you sure you'll be okay if you left now?” Techno strained to speak himself as there was a ball trapped in his throat making his voice so much quieter, luckily it was enough for Dream to hear as he zipped up the laptop.

“I really couldn't say if I am honest.” Dream's dry chuckle was like nails on a chalkboard compared to his typically joyous one, this one was chaining something back, and Techno knows Dream was prideful like him. He'd bottle up his emotions and take them to his grave if he must.

“Then don't leave yet. Let's...Let's talk for a bit to...ya know...get your mind to rest easy...” Techno fumbled with his thoughts as the only thing that he was clinging to was to have Dream here with him for longer so he was safe and wasn't alone somewhere drowning in his tears.

“You've been more talkative than usual Techno.” Dream stood up, however, his hands didn't retrieve the bag that was still residing on the empty desk which lightened the weight on Techno just that tad bit. Dream was willing to stay.

“Ehhh, I guess. Come on, let's sit.” Techno went to his bed and pat the spot next to him which lead Dream to be beside him once again. The air between their bodies stirred with a slight tension for different reasons. Techno's with anxiety, and Dream's with collecting himself emotionally before speaking.

“Sorry about this Techno. I just am struggling a bit with coping with the whole George breaking up with me. I don't want to dwell on it too much, so I guess I've been sort of running from facing my problems lately. Makes me sound rather weak.”

Techno relaxed more as Dream didn't seem on the verge of shattering in his hands, “Well...I don't think that it is necessarily a sign of weakness. I mean...I think of it as a method of preparation to actually confront such things head-on with a level mind and sorted emotions. You can't charge into a battle without some form of weapon prepared to protect yourself.”

Dream paused for a bit listening to Techno before leaning back and gazing at the plain white ceiling. Techno fidgeted with his hands as his body was shocking him with persistent wants to drown Dream in all sorts of affections so that he would never feel like this ever again. It was overwhelming for Techno, but he was pressing it down, he wasn't going to cave.

“ _Why are you so pathetic? You never take charge.”_

“ _You can want to touch and hold him as much as you want, he's never gonna be yours.”_

“ _Wanted to 'just be friends', just imagine how quick he would drop you if he knew what you dream about doing with him every night.”_

“I guess that is true. Plus, I did solidify my stance on things, and George did say that we could remain friends after this all blows over which is all that I requested. I refused to let him go completely. I love him too much for that.”

'I could provide that love way more than George did...' Techno drifted off as he was watching Dream's rosy lips let out even more gorgeous words before Techno cursed himself for letting himself think like this.

“I think that is perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with moving to a platonic relationship, if he truly cared for you, he would be able to, even if it is a little difficult at first, eventually it would become a friendship stronger than most.” Techno fell back onto his back to lie down, his legs hanging off the edge.

“You're right. I mean...I don't really want to dwell on it all that much anyway. I feel like I shouldn't, I should be pushing myself to be strong and make it past all of this. Going with the flow kind of thing.”

  
  
“That's understandable.”

“I've been thinking a lot about my future though.”

“Oh?” Techno perked up his head as this new topic rolled up.

“I had always thought I was going to marry George when he finally had solidified his visa to the US, but...seems that isn't the case now. I don't really want to do any form of dating apps or anything. I guess you could think of me like a cat with how selective with people I truly can be. I only get close with a few, and friends would be the first place I would go.”

Techno's eyes flit to Dream's face as he heard that, he had to wrap imaginary chains around his whole body to keep from this euphoria that he actually might have a chance in Dream's heart outing himself right in that moment. It was one of the best things he's heard all day, enough to make him lift himself to a sitting position again to get a clearer view of Dream's expressions to see if he leaked any hints or clues to a possibility.

“I agree with that. I could never do dating apps, I am too socially anxious to even bring myself to even make a profile. Friends would always be a good option.”

“Yeah, and like...I don't find anything wrong with indulging in dating apps, just isn't really my thing. You know, I have been recalling a lot of things lately. Like previous crushes that I've had in the past. I remember having a crush on Sapnap before I got together with George. I'm sure I told you before. Ironically, he confessed to me saying that he had liked me when I was with George. It was quite interesting to hear from my best friend, but I wasn't repulsed or anything. I'm still curious if he still perhaps feels that way now.”

Techno's whole world of hope came crashing down around him, Dream didn't even consider him? He bit his tongue hard enough that he swears he could taste the iron of blood lingering in his mouth. “You're curious?”

No, no, no, no. This wasn't what Techno wanted to hear. The voices were right, he was going to abandon him, he had to act, he must. Dream would fall from his reach, his light would be snatched from him, he couldn't let that be the result of everything leading up to now.

“I am, I mean, I kind of admit that I still like Sapnap to this day. He was always there for me, not to mention I kind of admire that he had the guts to confess to me directly to my face knowing that the outcome was rejection.” Dream smiled lightly with a subtle blush. A blush that was enough to make Techno panic more, his treasure, he needed to protect it.

“ _He is gonna leave.”_

“ _And you can't do anything about it.”_

“ _You don't even have the guts to confess to him.”_

“ _Sounds like you are forever on the side.”_

“ _You don't deserve the happiness.”_

“ _Don't tell us that you actually believed that there was hope for you.”_

“ _You're broken. That's obvious considering you still obey the voices in your head.”_

“ _Loneliness is where you belong.”_

Techno clenched his hands together, he refused to believe that. No! He wasn't going to adhere to that, he could prove the voices wrong by keeping Dream here. The image of Dream's light dissipating and leaving him in encroaching darkness was enough to send chills and unadulterated fear into Techno's heart. He didn't want to go back there. Dream, please you can't go.

“You should be careful about that. I mean, what if he says that he does. Are you going to go to him? That's not a good idea.”

“What do you mean? I'm not going to immediately jump into Sapnap's arms, I'm just curious.” Dream raised a brow in question to what Techno was referring to. Damnit, this was dangerous territory to tread on, he didn't want to sound like he was scolding Dream for something that his own mind made up.

“I'm just concerned for you. I don't want you hopping into a relationship when you just got out of one. You're emotionally vulnerable right now, and that could render you dependent if you rush into things too early because you won't have any sense of love and respect for yourself.” Techno stammered as he tried to string his words together carefully, he didn't want Dream to feel like he was trying to control him. He was just guiding him, right? It was advice...Dream wasn't in a state to crawl into the dating pool again. He was only trying to protect him.

“I understand your concern, but I'm only going to ask him out of curiosity. It might not be soon, but I do want to satisfy such curiosity.”

Techno clenched his fists enough to make his knuckles go white, luckily Dream wasn't gazing down or that would have been a very questionable action from the pinkette. “Okay. I just want you to be careful and feel better Dream.”

“Thank you for the consideration Techno. Really.” Dream beamed as it was obvious the blonde was cheering up a bit letting all of this off his chest. “On another note, I wanted to invite all of my close friends to spend the night together. Play games, hang out, maybe go swimming.”

Techno's mind was still buzzing with anxious paranoia, but he let that idea settle before making a remark on it. “Who all are you inviting and when?”

“I checked with everyone and the end of the week seemed to line up with everyone's schedules. I invited Bad, Sapnap, Wilbur, Skeppy, Tommy, and you. I hadn't gotten to ask you yet, I hope that this isn't intruding on any plans or anything. If it is, I can see if we can reschedule for another time.”

“Oh no! That's fine. I could work with that. Where are we going to staying though?” Techno could feel his skin burn subtly at the promise of Sapnap being there, the very one that threatened the steal his golden possession right from under his nose, but he shouldn't be thinking like this. Dream wasn't his to begin with, he was his friend...that's all. He had no right to what Dream chose to do.

“That's one of the problems, I contemplated my house, but with my mom and sister there, it could be kind of awkward for everyone since I want it just to be us. There was the idea of a hotel, but there wasn't anywhere that I could find that seemed suited to what I wanted, not to mention that the majority of us are rather loud and would be intrusive to others.”

“How about my house?”

Dream's eyes landed on Techno's maroon ones and they seemed to sparkle the moment the offer was let into the air. “Are you sure? That would be absolutely perfect!”

Techno's heart leaped as he sincerely smiled, running his hands through his hair out of habit. “Of course, anything for you Dream.” His entire body froze as there was a sudden sensation of another body engulfing his own in a tight embrace. Neurons in his brain were going into overdrive as he barely processed that Dream nearly tackled him in a hug, that he almost forgot how to keep his filter on and keep him from spewing his deepest confessions of love to this man.

“That settles it. I'll tell everyone to come here at the weekend then. I'll probably come here early if you want to come with me to get supplies for the night. I'm sure we will be up till the sun rises.” Dream grinned bringing Techno back to reality as he was still processing what happened in the past few seconds.

“Y-Yeah. Sure I'll come with you.”

Dream rose up from the bed to retrieve his laptop bag which Techno realized meant that their time together was limited now. He stood up himself as he didn't want to appear clingy and try to keep Dream even longer. He recalled that Dream's family was really keeping Dream to themselves right now, but that was Techno being jealous as he knew his family meant well, and honestly, they were a good comfort for Dream. As painful as it was to acknowledge, his family held secrets that Dream shared with them that he himself hasn't heard before. However, he respects that...there are some things worth hiding. His heart-wrenching crush was one of the ones he could never let out of its cell.

“Anyways, I got to go Techno. I'll see you later, alright? I'll keep you updated on things.” Techno nodded as he escorted the blonde to his door and waved him off again. His car disappearing into the distance as Techno carefully shut his door, locking it, as he stood there blankly staring at nothing in particular for only a second. A second was all it took...

There was a brief inclination of something ominous before that lingering feeling took to residing directly onto Techno's shoulders. Hands caressing across his collarbone before wrapping around his neck pressing just enough to restrict Techno's airflow as his lungs strained to receive that air that kept him alive.

“ _You fucked up.”_

“ _You let your treasure slip between your fingers.”_

“ _Such a pathetic excuse of a human, can't even push yourself to hold onto your possessions.”_

“He isn't just some object of my desire to take.” Techno sobbed as he sunk to his knees, his forehead pressing to the oak door as the night covered his home in shadows. The very shadows that loomed over his curled up body, strangling him, crushing his very being in their hands, mold plaguing his mind.

“ _You didn't even fight to save Phil. You don't fight for anything.”_

“ _You don't stand up for anything. All your friendships know this. That's why they don't rely on you.”_

“ _You're replaceable. Dream is replacing you.”_

“He's not going to replace me...”

“ _Do you really believe that?”_

“ _He blatantly confessed that he was going to fall right into his other best friend's arms.”_

“ _Were you really his best friend?”_

“ _Sounds like you were just a pin cushion for his problems.”_

“ _You're a perfect punching bag.”_

“ _You're already so broken that throwing more baggage on you is no skin off his nose.”_

“Stop...” Hot tears flowed down Techno's face as his body was getting weaker and weaker before his body collided with the floor below him. He cried, for the first time in years, he released his frustrations in a hot pot of emotions that he couldn't identify. All that came up as a method of description was pain. He was a nearly lifeless lump on his floor for what felt like hours until there were no tears left, only did he finally open his eyes when he heard a soft whine in front of him.

Floof stood there and lapped at the tears staining Techno's face, the affection from his fluffy friend brought just enough clarity to Techno for him to realize where he was and how lethargic his whole body felt as he raised a hand to pet Floof's head. However, it wasn't enough for the dog as he continued to lick and press his cold nose to Techno's cheek forcing Techno to muster up enough strength to sit up properly.

“Okay okay...” Techno noticed Floof walking towards the stairs, but he was patiently waiting for his owner to follow. It was a struggle, but Techno didn't want to leave his buddy there as he stood up and picked up Floof in his arms, climbing up the stairs to make it to his bed. This was far more forgiving on his body as it molded to it, coddling it in puffy clouds. He cuddled into the soft fur of his pet as his mind nearly instantly shut off the moment his head hit the pillow, Floof didn't stray far from Techno's arms as the pup decided to drift to sleep now that his owner was safely asleep now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo, this one was a long one for sure. How are you all feeling?  
> Got to give love to Floof. :)


	5. Wilting Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POSSIBLE TRIGGERS:
> 
> BODY DYSMORPHIA  
> MENTIONS OF DYING/SUICIDE

Techno perked up from his YouTube video watching as a very prominent ring of the doorbell traveled through his home. He was stuck in initial confusion before peering down at the time on the bottom corner of his screen. Time flew by, it's already time for Dream to be here. Luckily it wasn't like he needed to prepare his living quarters this time from his panicked cleaning yesterday coming in clutch. He stood up and heard the doorbell ring again.

“ _Don't want to leave him waiting.”_

“ _Please get someone more entertaining than you in here.”_

“ _We are bored of you.”_

Techno scoffed at that, why don't you just leave him alone then? Problem solved. He moved out of the room and downstairs to open up the door to the man that's smile instantly lit up the room. “Hey Techno! Where should I put my stuff?” He laughed as he adjusted the several bag straps currently strangling him.

“Let me grab something first Dream.” Techno laughed as he removed the top most strap which seemed to be his laptop bag. The weight by itself took Techno off-guard. The hell is this brick of a laptop Dream carries around? He shook his head and gestured into his humble abode and guided Dream up the staircase to his room again. Since they will be heading out again, this would probably be the best place for everything. “Put it in my room. It keeps everything out of the way.”

Dream shuffled his way into the room as Techno on instinct went to close the door behind them. Once he heard the click of it closing, he could hear the thudding of Dream's heavy bags on his floor, and when he lifted his head to acknowledge Dream, he had to hold back a yelp as the blonde was planted right in front of him trapping him against the door.

Techno's brain was racing from the close proximity of this angel, he felt that if he breathed he wouldn't be able to again from the beauty snatching it from him. He didn't even register what Dream said to him, the only thing processing at that second was the movement of Dream's lips, but the moment he made eye contact. He snapped out of his trance and pressed himself against the door to gasp in some air with a laugh. “D-Dream! Don't startle me like that man. You were a lot closer than I anticipated.”

“I know.” Techno froze as Dream stepped even closer to him making his heart catch in his throat, he is getting closer. He wanted to taint this angel with his touches...Stop it Techno, there must be a reason for this, right? And that is definitely not one of them. Dream is so attractive right now by the standards in his head he made. The subtle tint of rose on those cheeks, the lowered lids barely hiding those emerald orbs, and the semi messy strands of hair framing his face. He feels himself biting his lips some as he gets lost in the appearance of this godly man. However, the cogs flick on from the fiery touch to his cheek that trailed to his cheek than his jaw.

“D-Dream?”

The brief moment of silence felt like it lingered forever, but what occurred after was Dream leaning in closer to Techno's face. Techno could feel their breath intermingle for a second before that gap was removed and his lips were resting on the blonde's own. Techno was too shocked from the sudden kiss that he fumbled in returning it. Was this really happening? His body and mind were on overdrive as Dream's arms wrapping around Techno made him shiver before melting into the sensations. Dream pulled away from him; however, Techno wasn't going to let that happen as his hands slipped into the blonde curls to tug his crush back into another kiss, this one slightly more heated purely because of Techno's desperation for the affection that his soul demanded. He could hear a laugh that broke the seal between their lips, and the sound was only described as music to Techno's ears.

Techno willed himself to break away only for his hazy eyes to see the smug and joyous smirk planted on Dream's lips. His body could only react by itself as Dream was entrancing him, moving himself to the bed, and luring Techno with him. It was all a blur for Techno before he realized they had fallen onto the soft mattress with him looming over the blonde who was smiling up at him. Techno was speechless.

His waterfall of pink hair lingered around the blonde as if he was lying in a bed of salmon roses, to say it was breathtaking was an understatement. He was ethereal...Now...Techno is would usually refer to himself as an asexual, as he doesn't ever feel true sexual attraction for people's appearances. He only had placed beauty standards in order to acknowledge when someone was attractive, and by those standards, Dream broke that scale. He was perfect enough that even staring at him was so gratifying and pleasing, Techno would do anything for this man. Even if that wasn't necessarily indulging in the idea of sex, he certainly was intrigued right now with Dream underneath him to perhaps even step into that if Dream so demanded.

His mental musings were cut short as he yelped from being suddenly flipped over with Dream above him. Techno was mentally screaming at himself as he had no idea what he was doing, he raised his hands with the intention to touch this angel, but his fingertips phased right through that shoulder.

“Naughty and selfish of you for thinking these fantasies of me Techno. I'm truly disgusted, I thought you really cared for me, must have been wrong, you just want me for your selfish needs.” Techno's eyes widened in horror as he heard the hiss in Dream's voice, but a flash of light made Techno launch out of his bed. Wide awake and panting...a dream?

Techno flicked his gaze around his whole room to regain his bearings and even coughed from a sudden lurching from his body. What the hell just happened?

“ _Having fantasies?”_

“ _You're pathetic.”_

“ _Didn't you say you were never going to think like that of a friend? Lying through your teeth is all we heard.”_

“ _Disgusting.”_

Techno could feel the pounding in his head as a migraine was creeping in, fantastic...he groaned as he stood up dizzy from the onset of vertigo, and went downstairs. It took him till now to realize it was still dark and the sun hadn't risen this weekend. It wasn't like this was an unfamiliar scenario as this whole week has been chock-full of restless nights caused by anxiety, self-hate, and general paranoia. He fetched some painkillers before sighing as he went up to his shower to sit in there for the next hour and a half trying to calm the migraine down before it got too bad.

He could feel his head numbing at the warmth of the water, but his mind didn't follow suit. It was like he was fading away from his body as he slid to sit on the floor of his shower. It took a lot of willpower for him to remain awake due to his sleep deprivation and the soothing sensation of water dripping down his body. However he got up from the shower, turning it off, and getting out, he clambered to the towel he had resting on the sink. While he was drying off, he swiped away the steam that built upon the mirror to peer at himself in the mirror. Black lined around his eyes with much more prominent eye bags, not only that, but his once scarlet eyes have dulled considerably. They were murky and clouded to be more black as if that red was a spark of hope that diminished. Techno huffed subtly amused at the thought from how that color was used in symbolism. He really was a disaster...

“ _How the mighty have fallen.”_

“ _At least you are learning of the trash that you are.”_

Techno moved into his room, delirious as he tripped on something on his floor, but didn't even make an effort to catch himself as he landed on his bed. The instant softness being just enough for him to pass out right then and there.

Just as quickly, he woke back up, however, this time the sun was shining and his migraine was gone. He rolled on his back as he was letting the sleepiness wear away. Techno heard his phone go off and his eyes lazily turned to see the messages, Dream had made a group chat of everyone he invited in order to ensure everyone knew all the details.

_Wilbur:_

_You said we needed to bring swimwear, right?_

_Dream:_

_Yeah, I was hoping we would go swimming first_

_then head back to Techno's._

_Tommy:_

_You got it Big D!_

_Wilbur:_

_Don't forget your floaties._

_Tommy:_

_Fuck you Will!_

_Dream:_

_Don't want you to drown in the shallow end._

_Tommy:_

_I'm feeling rather targeted._

Techno chuckled at the banter as he ran a hand through his hair, but realized how tangled it had gotten from not brushing it out after his shower. This was gonna be tedious, one of the worst parts about dealing with his hair was how easily it could knot if he wasn't careful. May as well get his usual rituals done, he was long overdue for completing them.

A few hours passed as Techno had been lounging in his chair in front of his computer now sifting through various YouTube videos before he heard the doorbell. The déjà vu made him hesitate as he knew he experienced this very exact moment before. In his dream...the dream where...Techno swallowed and touched his lips faintly recalling the feeling, but snapped back out of it from the doorbell ringing again. He rushed to get downstairs opening the door to Dream again, “Hey Techno! Where should I put my stuff?”

Techno's mind continued playing those words like a broken record, this was all falling into the same places as his dream. He could feel a chill slip through his body as he offered his hand like a good host, “Let me grab something first Dream.” And once again, he felt the familiar fabric and weight of the laptop bag in his hands and lead Dream up to his room.

The moment they entered his room and Techno's hand lifted to rest on the doorknob his anxiety spiked as he was terrified of what would await him when he twisted his head back to Dream. The thudding of the bags on the floor triggering a startled jump from Technoblade before he gulped in a breath and turned his face towards Dream. No, this was reality, it wasn't like his dream, he isn't going to have Dream know his fantasies, he doesn't know. There is no way.

He froze as Dream was actually closely planted right in front of him trapping against the door. Techno had to will himself to not begin hyperventilating from the panic rising in his chest which almost boiled over when a touch grazed over his cheek forcing his eyes closed before that hand rested on his forehead instead. Techno's eyes snapped open in confusion, but Dream didn't reside there very long and pulled back, “You okay Techno? You look pale, I was checking your temperature, you're much redder in the cheeks.”

Techno lifted the laptop bag to separate Dream and him in some form and handed it to him which he took without much problem. “S-Sorry, no, I'm fine. You just scared me Dream.”

Dream tilted his head with a smirk playing on his lips, “The great Technoblade scared?”

“Sometimes I can be human.” Techno shrugs with a laugh to more so relax his own tense actions and went to his desk to grab his keys, “Anyways, you can keep everything here, we are getting some supplies for tonight, right?”

Dream stretches with a nod as they go to head out to the store. The main thing on their shopping list was various sodas, snacks to tide them over for the night, and Dream at some point managed to sneak some alcohol into the shopping cart. Techno shook his head, but he wasn't going to control what his best friend bought. Techno did have to admit that just waltzing around these stores, throwing random items at each other, or even just arguing over what snacks they should buy felt so domestic for Techno. It was pleasant, to say the least, he could live off of this form of affection alone, as to him, this meant more than just two friends going out to get party accommodations.

However, this time was cut short as they were on their way back to Techno's house, Dream in the passenger seat singing whatever song popped up on the radio.

It was always shocking to hear Dream's voice pitch to match notes with practiced ease. The silky arpeggios flowing off his tongue seep into Techno's brain entangling it in elegant ribbons. Everyone Techno knew was extremely talented, it made him wonder if he had any form of talent outside of maybe stabbing people in a block game. Even the times he had created extensive analysis sheets of potato producing rates with Squidkid wouldn't be something he would consider talent, or even when he managed to sort through every build that could appear in Buildmart for MCC and distinguished how many plausible blocks they would have to collect to secure first place victory. No, that wasn't talent to Techno, that was just him being persistent and competitive, no one wants to lose, and he had thrown his life away for these things. It isn't like he could just naturally produce these answers, in fact, it was a rather sad sight to see in his opinion, that he only ever was able to create these types of things when he competed for the gold. It wasn't talent.

“You have your swimsuit all ready for when we get back Techno?”

Techno realized that he had drifted away from reality again and was running on autopilot once he took attention to Dream addressing him. “Mmm...yeah. I think...”

“You think? Pfft. Did you completely forget to find it Techno?” Dream laughed lightly.

“I was at a point, but sitting there watching YouTube was deemed more important at that time and I was chained there by force after starting one video, Dream. You got to understand.”

Dream wheezed as this was so expected of Techno to get distracted so easily by something. Techno and Dream did share the fact that they both had ADHD, it wasn't uncommon for them to suddenly transition into something completely different from their initial objectives. There were a few more minutes before Techno pulled up into his driveway, as they were getting supplies out from his car and into the house, another car parked alongside the sidewalk, and Wilbur and Tommy slipped out. Tommy barreling up to Techno who just exited outside his front door to see them.

“Heeeeeyyyyy Big Man!” Tommy had only his backpack slung over his shoulder, but he casually went straight into Techno's house regardless of permission and haphazardly threw that bag on the living room table.

“Hi, Tommy.” He rubbed his eyes as he heard Tommy start yelling as he saw Dream in the kitchen messing with other grocery bags. Two loud blondes were definitely a lot of work...he continued outside shouting fading away as he approached Wilbur. “Hey, Wilbur.”

“Techno!” Wilbur wrapped an arm around Techno's shoulders before gently punching the pinkette in his own brotherly affection as he focused on getting his bags into the house as well.

Before long, they were all seated in the living room waiting patiently for everyone else to show up. Bad and Skeppy ended up coming together which was expected, they kept it on a down low from everyone, but to their close friends that they are actually dating and living together. However, Techno was surprised to see Sapnap coming along with them.

“Oh, Dreeeeaaam!” Sapnap made a beeline to Dream in which the green man got up quickly to give his homie a bear hug. However heartwarming seeing two friends hug each other and laugh as they provided each other the much-needed interaction, it was bitter to Techno. He glared momentarily at the duo before at the floor. Why was he getting jealous over this?

“ _Maybe because Dream said he was going to replace you with Sapnap.”_

“ _Replaceable.”_

“ _You're being disposed of.”_

“ _Right in front of your face.”_

Techno frowned before Tommy's weight leaning against him and draping himself over his older brother forced Techno to focus on this nuisance he let into his house.

“Tommy, this really isn't necessary. You're being a pest.” He shoves Tommy off of him which launches him into Wilbur making Tommy glower at Techno.

“Hey, Big Man! You were lookin' all glum and shit and I was trying to make you feel better and you treat me like this?” Techno just rolls his eyes at Tommy's outburst as his brother sprawled across his lap from Wilbur also shoving him away.

“Language, Tommy. It's only been a couple of minutes since you've been here and you're already swearing?” Bad sighed as he appeared so distraught at what he got himself into. Techno couldn't agree with the brunette more, he also felt like he bit off more than he could chew inviting this one along.

“Well, I made reservations at this swimming pool, we may as well make our way there now.” Dream smiled once he was released from Sapnap's embrace, which Sapnap was complaining was too short as the blonde was having to force the ravenette off of him. The sight left an awful taste on Techno's tongue, but he stood up causing Tommy to tumble to the floor.

Everyone made their way out of the home and maneuvered to the appropriate cars. Bad, Skeppy, Dream, and Sapnap; then Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy. It wasn't like Techno didn't like his brothers, of course he did, they were his siblings and regardless of how shamelessly chaotic they were, he loved them. It is just that he would have much preferred a different blonde instead of the younger one, he would just have to make due.

The road trip to the swimming pool was a very deafening one as Wilbur and Tommy began yelling and arguing about something, ceasing their bickering to sing a random song blasting from Tommy's phone, then threatening each other. Techno was certainly amused as this made him recall the better times, back when they all lived together and this was a frequent occurrence. Techno had moved out for college at some point and the newfound silence kept him from home, that among some...other things that had really brewed in his mind.

“ _The day you ran away from your problems.”_

Techno, not feeling like listening to the voices, reached to the radio to boost the volume which was plenty enough noise for him among his fighting brothers. The trip wasn't so bad, they all got to the pool safely and had all met inside the changing room.

Techno hesitantly lifted off his shirt as he listened to the various sounds of shuffling clothing from everyone getting changed into their swimwear. He tried his best to ignore the itch to stare and admire Dream without his shirt, but he only could resist for so long as his eyes wandered directly over to him. He had already removed his shirt and seemed to be in conversation with Sapnap as he opened a locker to place his clothing inside. The defined muscles of his back and the tan in his skin made Techno's mouth water, Dream doesn't even know how much like a piece of art he is just standing there. Just looking over him triggered some kind of chemical in Techno's brain that made him never desire to stop. It was akin to worshiping something of pure beauty.

“ _You can't compete nor compare.”_

“ _You're a skeleton in a skin suit.”_

“ _Displeasing to the eyes.”_

“ _No one wants to even look at that.”_

Techno childishly mocked the voices in his head as he couldn't be that bad, at least, he was saying that to disprove the voices points. He didn't want to accept them especially after what he's seen, he wants to lavish Dream in whatever he desired. Techno's gaze lingered a bit longer before flicking over to Sapnap who was undressing beside the blonde. In a way, this was a perfect time to size up the competi--

Techno's eyes widen a bit when Sapnap removed his shirt, revealing a toned chest and body, he was broader in structure, but that worked miracles on his physique next to Dream. His skin was tanner than Dream's, but it complimented the other regardless of what lighting they were in. Sapnap's stubble framed a masculine jawline and his smile was almost as bright as Dream's when they laughed in unison. The dynamic of both of them was overwhelming but molded together so seamlessly.

Techno nearly gave himself whiplash from averting his eyes as he slunk away to tie up his hair ready to get to the pool as quickly as possible. All it took was a pass across a mirror for Techno to halt his steps and peer at himself. He clenched his jaw as everything he was seeing in his reflection was revolting to him. Techno was usually the egotistical narcissist, but in this moment, he couldn't feel any lower. The voices were right, he was a skeleton in a skin suit. Not even a well-fabricated skin suit, but a pale, nearly sickly looking shell, that had lost so much muscle mass and definition from all those days without a meal, all those days lying in bed doing nothing with himself. This was the result of failing to promote his own self-care.

Wilbur came by and slapped his bareback making him hiss at the sting residing right after, “Wilbur! I'm gonna kill you.”

“Got to catch me first Techno!” Wilbur laughed as he charged out of the changing room and to the pool with Techno right on his heels. The others amusingly followed before seeing both the brothers dived directly in stirring the once calm waters. Techno jumped onto Wilbur's back to force him under again to well “drown” him before Wilbur slapped his arms which signaled to Techno that he gave in now. The brunette brought his head up to gasp for air and wiped his face laughing at the pinkette who pushed him.

“CANNONBALL!” Sapnap took a running start along with Dream as they splashed into the pool, Techno sputtered as the waves caught him off guard as they slapped him in the face.

He wiped the water off of his face as he huffed watching Dream emerge from the water to slick his hair back out of his face. Dear god, Techno's face heated up more as skin was appearing showing the lean muscle that Dream always hid under that hoodie. Get a grip Technoblade...his eyes took a moment to see Skeppy and Bad gingerly stepping into the pool like normal human beings before sitting on the steps together.

They really did look good side-by-side, their personalities meshed perfectly like a puzzle, one being calm and benign while the other was chaotic and extroverted. Techno could only remain dreaming for compatibility like that with the one he truly loved, on the instinct of him acknowledging his crush, his vision drifted over to the blonde from before. However, he was there having the time of his life interacting with Sapnap, not for a second did his grin falter as they occasionally splashed each other before mumbling things which Techno could only allow his brain to interpret, and he knew that was the worst thing to leave up to his brain nowadays.

He closed his eyes feeling defeated with his emotions as he naturally sunk deeper into the pool until he was completely submerged. His heart felt heavy with destroyed remnants of hope as he just listened to the sound of water in his ears. The muted and muffled sounds lulled him as he felt at peace underneath the surface, his eyes opened slightly inviting the chlorine-filled liquid into them causing them to sting, but the mildly blurring rays of light were mesmerizing in themselves. His mind was numb, his body was numb, he didn't even connect the straining in his lungs to his oxygen depleting until his mouth tried to inhale for that precious air upon losing all of what he had in his lungs.

Techno was so caught off guard by the sensation of liquid rushing down his throat that his body stiffened and tensed up as his mind was settling into panic mode, just when he was about to begin thrashing to get to the surface he was yanked out of the water by arms underneath his shoulders. He hacked up what water ended up in his lungs and gulped in the air trying to calm his raging nerves.

“ _Damn, I was hoping you'd die.”_

“ _Go back under and finish the job.”_

And for a brief moment, Techno actually leveled with the voices, he wouldn't have to deal with these burdensome emotions if he...just didn't exist, right? If he had just willed himself under a little longer, he might have been able to blackout, and just--

He could feel a gentle hand rest on his back before his crimson eyes peaked up to see that Wilbur was the one to save him from nearly drowning himself. The anxiousness inside the brunette's eyes made Techno instantly regret having those thoughts from before. No...he couldn't be thinking like that when he had to remain here with his brothers, he wasn't going to fail them again...

“Techno? Are you okay?” his ruby eyes turned to the voice to see the concerned expression of Dream, that grin long faded which reeled Techno back to reality. He caused his sunshine to dim, and that result wasn't something that he desired to be responsible for. The sun should remain shining, it shouldn't be staring at him like that when this event was for Dream. He coughed once more for good measure before forcing his lips into a smile and waved at everyone that had begun to surround him in worry.

“Ah hah! I thought I could hold my breath longer. I apparently didn't breathe in enough beforehand.” Techno tried laughing even though his voice sounded wrecked from his coughing fit. Everyone's shoulders relaxed at the explanation that Techno gave thankfully as it was a much more relieving answer than Techno nearly drowning himself.

However, he felt the skeptical stares of both his brothers beside him, he knew that fooling them was a much more difficult task. Especially since they knew about them, the voices...but they seemed to notice the tense muscles as Techno deeply wanted to move on from this issue because Tommy actually spoke up, “A breathing contest, huh? Alright! Big T will show you how it's done, Big Man! Hey! BBH! Wanna test your capabilities against the best?”

“Oh my goodness Tommy.” Bad sighed, “What do I get if I win?”

“I won't swear in front of you for a whole TWO HOURS. TWO! If I win, then you need to say fuck in front of all of us here on a recording!”

“Language....second of all, you're on. Ready to lose Tommy?” Bad smirked as they were preparing themselves.

“I'll be the judge!” Sapnap stood up between them and put a hand on each of their shoulders to adjust his tone to sound serious, “I want a good clean fight, no cheap tricks, I'm watching you.”

Techno heard the soft chuckle of Dream which settled Techno's heart as it seems that everyone let bygones be bygones.

“You better win Tommy! I've been trying to get Bad to say fuck for months now!” Skeppy cheered on Tommy which made Bad whine that he was boosting Tommy's ego instead of his own for this competition. “Love you too Bad.”

The competition was a short-lived one as Bad was a jack of all trades it seemed as his ability to hold his breath was substantially better than Tommy's. Tommy nearly looked like a bellied-up fish with how much he strained himself to beat Bad. His competitive spirit will be the death of him someday. The rest of the time in the pool was spent mingling with each other, a couple of times they would challenge each other to a race across the pool and back. Other times they would compete on who could do the best trick off of the diving board which resulted in some batter red skin from fumbled jumps and belly flops.

The time zoomed by as Techno was the first one out of the pool to go to the showers to rinse off all the chlorine that seeped into his skin. The others followed behind shortly and quickly turned the changing room into a sauna after turning on several of the shower heads in the open room. Techno let the warm water brush through his long hair before noticing that he actually didn't have shampoo nor conditioner to make sure that it didn't get tangled after this. He sighed as he will just deal with it when he got home or something.

A loud shout from across the shower room caught Techno's attention as he noticed Dream and Sapnap wrestling before Sapnap took a tumble after slipping on the soapy floor taking Dream down with him. They were entangled laughing at the stupid situation they found themselves in before separating and helping each other up. Apparently, Techno's eyes lingered a bit too long because his gaze locked with the blonde's, he stopped breathing once Dream began walking closer and waved, “You want some help Techno? I noticed you didn't bring shampoo or conditioner for your hair, I have some.”

“W-What?” Techno didn't even register what Dream was trying to communicate as he was rather distracted from...well...the lack of clothing and lack of distance with Dream getting so close.

“Are you even listening Techno?” Dream smiled as it was amusing that Techno was so lost in his thoughts.

“Oh uh...y-yeah. Sorry. Hair, mmmm, yeah, sure. That's fine.” Techno cursed himself silently as he sat down in one of the shower chairs.

He flinched slightly at the sensation of fingers in his hair, but as his hair was being lathered up, the subtle massage in his scalp was so pleasantly reminiscent of another blonde that used to do this to Techno's hair. He could remember the warm laughter as Phil brushed through Techno's hair when he was younger because frankly, dealing with the locks by himself at such an age was tedious and he almost wanted to just cut it all off. However, with one comment of Phil mentioning how much he liked his hair as he braided it and even braided his own so they matched was enough for Techno to never cut his hair again besides to trim it.

A smile was resting on his face as Dream continued to mess with his hair, he knew that the blonde had a sister, so it wasn't unlikely that he knew what he was doing with the firm presses and gentle rinses. Techno was in heaven as Dream was doing what he wanted that he never even noticed that the water wasn't running anymore. Skillful fingers began using a brush and comb to delicately separate the strands before a voice spoke up in a teasing manner. “Oh Dream, you're stealing my job now? My turn now then.”

“Oh, my bad Wilbur. I guess I got carried away. Have at it.” Dream laughed brightly as he allowed the brunette past to continue where he left off on Techno's hair. The loss of those fingers made Techno fall from his cloud 9 as he pleadingly followed Dream's back with his eyes wanting the blonde to continue with his ministrations. However, Dream was already back at his locker to get changed properly, and the feeling of Wilbur's lithe fingers coursing through his hair to braid it like the old times felt nostalgic in its own way. In the past, this would be what his mind would desire is the comforting aura of his older brother braiding his hair like he used to, but that aura felt stifling this time. His world felt dull and dark as his sunshine was shifting further away. He felt like a flower craving the rays of his sun after a rainstorm, but he was drenched and no closer to that sunlight as clouds kept intruding. However, from the soft humming of Wilbur enjoying this familiar action, his voice was trapped in his throat to never complain about the switch as he just sat there accepting Wilbur's touches.

A few minutes had passed before he stood up from where he was seated and the neatly created braid rested over his shoulder as the group had already gotten changed. Techno hurried in returning into his clothing before all of them left the pool to get into their respective cars, and once again, Techno's sunshine was being separated from him by the clouds as he slipped into his own vehicle and Dream his own as they went back to his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst will only pile on more and more. :)  
> But POG for some brotherly care, right?


End file.
